Are you happy,Sam?
by SNAddict
Summary: This is a short tag to 'After School Special'. How does Sam respond to Mr. Wyatt asking him if he was happy? This is my take on what happened. Please read and review! Thanks!


'Are you happy Sam?'

The question caught Sam off guard. His mind went blank for a moment, struggling to come up with an answer. It wasn't like it was a hard question but for the life of him Sam didn't know how to answer it.

Mr. Wyatt looked at him expectedly. Sam quietly muttered a confused 'I don't know' and hastily left the room.

As soon as Sam got out into the hallway he didn't know what to do. Nobody had ever really asked him if he was happy. Lately, the most popular question he got was 'Are you okay?' and that question was always asked by Dean.

Sam didn't feel ready to face Dean so he walked slowly towards the gym.

Dean sat in the car impatiently drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. 'Geez, he thought, how long does it take for Sam to have his 'Captain Oh Captain' moment with his teacher?' He got out of the car and walked towards the school. Dean was so glad that this case was over and he could finally get away from the school. It wasn't great the first time around and he can safely say that it sucked even worse the second time around.

Dean walked along the hallway and passed by Mr. Wyatt's classroom. Dean poked his head in and asked 'Excuse me, have you seen Sam?'

'Yeah, he was just here. He seemed upset and left a little while ago'.

As soon as he heard that Sam was upset, Dean's big brother instincts kicked in. He narrowed his eyes at Mr. Wyatt and with a slightly accusing tone asked 'What did you say to him?'

Mr. Wyatt was a little taken aback at Dean's demeanour and immediately knew this was Sam's brother Dean. From his leather jacket to his 'don't' mess with me' tone, Mr. Wyatt remembered Sam's essay describing his brother and father.

'I didn't mean to upset him. I just asked Sam if he was happy.'

'Oh', Dean's shoulders slumped a little. He hurt when Sam hurt and Dean knew that that question would have hit Sam pretty hard. Their lifestyle hardly gave them the luxury or time to contemplate things like 'happiness'. You try to stay alive while getting the job done and you move on. You don't dwell on feelings because if you did, they could overwhelm you and possibly get you killed.

'If you don't mind me asking, why would such a simple question affect Sam so much?'

Dean could tell that Mr. Wyatt genuinely cared. 'You see, things are 'complicated' right now. There's some stuff going on that Sam is really struggling with. I'm trying to do what I can, but I really don't know how to help him'.

Mr. Wyatt nodded his head in understanding. He could tell that the young man in front of him was also dealing with a lot but his primary concern was of his brother. 'I think I saw him heading towards the gym'.

'Thanks', Dean said on his way out of the classroom. He walked quickly to the gym and paused outside the doors. He peered in and saw Sam sitting on the bleacher seats with his head in his hands.

Dean pushed the doors open and Sam glanced up with a startled expression on his face. He relaxed when he realized it was Dean walking towards him.

'Hey man, what's going on? Are you okay?'

With that question, Sam jumped up and shouted 'Why do you keep asking me that? I'm fine Dean. There's nothing wrong with me!'

'Whoa, whoa, take it easy there big guy. It was just a question. You don't have to bite my head off'.

Sam's shoulders slumped and he sat down heavily on the bleacher seat. Dean sat next to him and said quietly, 'Now, let's try this again. What's going on with you?' Dean knew that Sam was the 'caring and sharing' type. He didn't want to push but he knew that Sam would feel better once he opened up and talked.

Sam was quiet for awhile and Dean didn't think he would talk to him. Finally, he let out a sigh and turned to Dean. 'Mr. Wyatt asked if I was happy and I didn't know how to answer him. It's such a simple question and I'm not....' Sam trailed off.

'Not what Sam?'

'Dean, I'm not happy. I haven't been happy for a very long time. I can't even remember being happy. I don't even know what that feels like'.

Dean's heart broke as he heard his brother's words. All he ever wanted for Sam was for him to be happy and safe. To actually hear him say that he wasn't happy....'I'm sorry Sammy'.

'Why are you sorry Dean? It's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself'. Sam said the words and meant them. He knew that Dean took his responsibility to protect Sam very seriously, sometimes too seriously, and would probably blame himself for how Sam felt. He didn't want that.

'What can I do to make it better Sam? Just tell me and I'll do it'. Sam had no doubt in his mind that Dean meant what he said but there was nothing that Dean could do. Dean couldn't change the way Sam felt, nobody could do that.

'Maybe I don't deserve happiness Dean. All of this started because of me. Because of what Yellow Eyes did. Mom dying, Jess dying, it was all because of me'.

'You listen to me, Sam, Dean said vehemently. You do deserve to be happy. No one deserves that more than you. You gotta quit blaming yourself. It's not doing you or anybody else any good'.

Sam heard Dean's words but he couldn't bring himself to believe them. Dean saw the look on Sam's face and knew that his words were not registering. Dean knew that he couldn't change Sam's mind overnight what almost 5 years of worth of crap had caused.

'Even though you're not happy right now, you will be'. _That's a promise Dean thought_. 'We will get through this and stop the Apocalypse and we'll do this together. You will get your life back. You gotta believe that'.

Sam knew that it wouldn't be as easy as Dean made it out to be. He was trying to give Sam hope, trying to convey that 'Big Brother' confidence. Sam looked at Dean and gave him a small smile. 'How'd you get so smart, Dean?' Sam asked.

'Dude, you may have gotten into Stanford, but I'll always be smarter than you.' Dean said with a smirk.

'You may be smarter than me, but I`ll always be taller than you!' Sam joked back with a laugh. The tension lessened and in a rare display of a 'chick flick' moment, Dean put his arm around Sam's shoulder and said, 'But, you'll always be my little brother'.


End file.
